Sunday, April 29, 2012

Could this be the end of the package?

Another season of RPS is upon us, and I fear that the time of The Package may be drawing to a close. So it appears that we have grown up, and we have family responsibilities and jobs to attend to. Well, most of us. At least the founding members. OK, it's just PJ and I, the Baconshark.
The Package will have to decide in the ranks if we will carry on the name in our newer conscripts, or if we will let it fade gracefully. More to come I guess.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Congrats Paper Tiger!

June 11, 2011 - I am honored and overjoyed to offer heartfelt congratulations to the 2011 PBRPRPSCLCS Champion, Paper Tiger, on behalf of myself and Team David Bowie's Package. Your victory on Saturday was a joy to behold for many reasons.

As two-time Champ, it is my honor to stand shoulder to shoulder with another RPS giant. I have always considered you my most challenging and respected adversary in RPS competition. Looking back at 5 years of competition, your swagger, competitive spirit and inimitable style have been an inspiration to newcomers and veterans alike. You're a class act, Paper Tiger.

While Team David Bowie's Package did not bring home it's fourth winner's trophy this year, we could not be happier with this outcome. Our team fought with honor (even PJ, kind of) and placed in the top 4 for the 4th year in a row, despite having to eliminate several of our own mates in the early rounds. Once again, congratulations Paper Tiger on your exciting and most-deserved victory!

Lastly, a special thank you goes to C. Urbanus and all of the league sponsors for bringing us yet another awesome and exciting season of RPS action.

Kevin Mercer, "Baconshark"
2007 & 2010 PBRPRPSCLCS Champ

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Ziro Wins Again!

2 victories for David Bowie's Package in a row!  And 2 wins by Ziro this season!  And OH!  What a win this was.

The Package was rolling mad deep to celebrate Hipster Thrifter's final night of RPS before she moves to Florida.  Zombie Llama, Hipster Thrifter, Ziro, Mr. Is, PJ Rhymeswithsausage, dOGulas, and Master Brader all came out to throw down.  Donkey Show Deena was there, too, but she showed up too late to play.  Round 1 saw losses by PJ Rhymeswithsausage and Hipster Thrifter.  As the rounds continued, Package members kept winning.  Rumblings began about an All Package Semi-Final.  But alas, this was not to be.  An odd number of contestants resulted in a weird number of byes.  The Semi-Final saw dOGulas VS our old foe Fighting Mongooses (now playing under the name Boat Reynolds) and Ziro VS Zombie Llama.  This gave way to a Lone Wolves grudge match - dOGulas VS Ziro in the Final.  They fought hard for each point, but in the end it was Ziro by 3 wins to 1.

dOGulas, PJ Rhymeswithsausage, and Ziro all did well in Street RPS, too.  It was decided that There Can Be Only One, and in a stunning one-throw, three-way match, Ziro won all the money.  Ziro went on to win the Street title on the night, too.

Considering that all of Ziro's victories this season have come on nights that Hipster Thrifter was trying to celebrate (he defeated her on her birthday and won here on her last night of competition), it's not clear how he'll do as we roll towards the Championship.  Chances are he'll win the whole thing in another showdown with dOGulas.


David Bowie's Package got two text messages from Mr. Is the other night:

June 1 - 8:21pm:  There's a girl @ the Raven arguing w/ Urbanus for use of the stage so she & her friends can pole dance.

June 1 - 9:54pm: I won!  Wait, what?

At first glance it would appear that Mr Is won the right to use the stage for pole dancing.  And that would be wrong.  What she did do is beat everybody else at the Raven Lounge and take the PBRPRPSCLCS Victory for the night.  Not as cool as winning the 2008 PBRPRPSCLCS, but it is her first victory since that victory.  Except for that time she won some other RPS tournament sponsored by some other beer.

OK.  Maybe she did win the right to pole dance. 

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Package Mega Post

So much time has passed since the last update. What have you, our dear reader, missed out on? Lots of second place finishes and an amazing victory!

Back on May 11 there was a dude what came to play RPS for one night only – The Professor is a professor of Math & Other Stuff from Oxford University in merry ol’ England. He came to the PBRPRPSCLCS to play RPS with Math for an episode for an upcoming BBC show called The Code. (The Professor told me that the eposide featuring RPS would then segue into patterns left by serial killers.  Hopefully there are no other correlations between the PBRPRPSCLCS and serial killers, but only time will tell.)  We chose to play RPS with Beer. In the end it’s hard to say who won, because it wasn’t the Professor (he defeated Ziro in Round 1 and then lost to Dick Nasty in Round 3) and it wasn’t us – dOGulas lost in the Final to Sweetji. PJ Rhymeswithsausage beat The Professor for some Street money, but that really didn’t matter so much. PJ took second place in Street on the night to J Martin Hill by a margin of six fake dollars. And as those shirts from the ‘90s so eloquently put it, 2nd place is the first looser. So let’s hear it for David Bowie’s Package sweeping the First Loser spots on the night!

Hipster Thrifter went out to the El Bar for a night of Birthday RPS on May 23. And she did awesome, drinking drinks and winning lots of matches. But not all of the matches. That honor fell to fellow Package member Ziro!!! Ziro freaking won!! And in an ALL PACKAGE FINAL! How awesome is that? Super awesome. Plus, it finally gets Ziro & dOGulas (who had nothing to do with the final match but is in the picture anyway for some reason) a picture on the Package Blog! Everyone wins! But actually only Ziro won, which is awesome, but kinda lame that you ruined Hipster Thrifter’s birthday like that.

Our final update comes from the final day in May. David Bowie’s Package was rolling mad deep on the night – in attendance was Mr. Is, Legg E. Blonde, Master Brader, PJ Rhymeswithsausage, dOGulas, Hipster Thrifter, and Zombie Llama. And we all lost. Baconshark casually crushed the competition all the way up to the final and was winning that 2-0 before Panty Bandit mounted a comeback to win the night. PJ Rhymeswithsausage did his darndest to win street but was off by like $60.

That was a lot of nights of second place finishes and first round losses. And Package members did play many other nights during the past 3 weeks, but it’s safe to say that those were unremarkable losses. Which I guess means taking second place is a remarkable loss?

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

dOGulas Ends Week 3 With A Win

Coming off of the unmeasurable high of losing a whole lot over the past two years, dOGulas won his second-ever tournament last Thursday night at Teri's.  (The previous win was when we were playing under the name Bea Arthur's Package to mourn the loss of that great lady.  There was actually some other win in the 2010 Season, but that was a weird alternate-universe thing.)  His final match was against newcomer Doug E. Fresh, a fellow "Doug".  They fought not only for the #1 spot on the night, but also for the right to be called Doug.  And our boy took it home after a very tense match up.  Now dOGulas can continue to misspell his name and Doug E. Fresh must now be known as Frank.  It remains to be seen if "Frank" lives up to his end of the deal.  (It also makes you wonder if Frankie 13 has an unknown past life as a Doug.  Maybe Dougs are like Highlanders, where they battle each other non-violently until only one remains...)

Friday, May 6, 2011

Ziro Has Best 1st Round Loss EVAR

David Bowie's Package returned to Dirty Frank's for Week 3.  Many new faces have joined the Package this season.  Hipster Thrifter proved her worth last week by beating everyone.  This week was a bit more wishy-washy.  New member Master Brader went out quickly in the first round, earning 4 different Red Cards for 3 different violations.  It was pretty rad.  Other new member Donkey Show Deena almost made it to the Final 4.  Almost. 

It's safe to assume that everybody else in the Package lost on the night (because we did).  But as usual, the greatest and most spectacular loss was by Ziro.  It was a nail biter, but on the last point in a 3-round set, Ziro lost to Jerry Garcia, pictured below.

Jerry Garcia went on to lose to Paper Tiger in round 2.  He then went on to ask everyone on our team if we've heard of Dark Star Orchestra, because have you ever heard of Grateful Dead?  Well, Dark Star Orchestra does a note-for-note cover of a Grateful Dead show.  You should bring your girl.  She'll love it.