David Bowie's Package: Progress Is Slow, Spirits Are High

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Progress Is Slow, Spirits Are High

It was another average night for Team David Bowie's Package this past Tuesday at Dirty Frank's. PJ Rhymeswithsausage fell quickly to Feed The Pony team member Captain Obvious. Baconshark defeated Sexy L but then was eliminated by the night's Package Killer, Captain Obvious. Everyone should have seen that coming. Squidling rounded things off by losing in the first round to Friend Of The Package: Pete The Beat.

PJ Rhymeswithsausage displayed some Street RPS kung-fu/Jedi mind tricks and earned a good stack of cash. It was an all or nothing situation to win, so PJ Rhymeswithsausage put his $44 Street Bucks against The Fighting Mongooses' $42 Street Bucks in a winner-take-all Full Hustle. At that point PJ Rhymeswithsausage totally lost all momentum and lost big time.

The members of David Bowie's Package have decided to consult one of many spiritual advisers to see what should be done to ensure victory. The answer may surprise you.

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Baconshark's 2007 PBRPRPSCLCS Victory Statement

I have brought respect and dignity back to the championship. When I knew that I would have to face Johnny Goodtimes in the final four, I knew what must be done. As I threw down my enemy and smote his ruin against the Whiskey Dix stage, the hopes and dreams of a rabid throng of geeks were lifted.
Through the evening, and through the last night of league play, I faced a wave of the greatest players in the PBRPRPSCLCS. Mr. Strawberry, Fighting Mongooses, Female Ninja Whore, Paper Tiger, Vertical Paper, El Toro Papaya, Get Your Rocks off and Sometimes Scissors all stood in the path to glory. My thanks and respect goes to them for making this a satisfying and resounding victory for myself and for David Bowie’s Package, who have grown massively in strength and support in 2007 league play.
I look forward to the 2008 season and perhaps a World Championship appearance, and send thanks C. Urbanus for giving us all the opportunity to drink cheap beer and play leisure sports for large sums of money.

Viva la Package!