Package Nearly Wins Twice, But Doesn't

It's been a heckuva week for David Bowie's Package. Two 2nd Place finishes in two nights. Wowzers.

MONDAY

DB'sP was rolling mad deep as Zombie Llama, What'll It Be Tits McGee, PJ Rhymeswithsausage, and BACONSHARK were all in attendance at the Khyber. BACONSHARK went down swinging in the first round against Master Fister. Zombie Llama was the first to face defeat at the hand of the evening's Package Killer - Once, Twice, Three Times A Paper. What'll It Be Tits McGee stood strong, defeating The Captain and Digital Destroyer. Sadly, she met her match in Round 3 against Once, Twice, Three Times A Paper. That leaves PJ Rhymeswithsausage. He did stuff, too.

A strong night for Mr. Rhymeswithsausage, PJ soundly overcame Peter Parker, Rock You Like A Hurricane, 2 Backups, and Lizbot on his way to the final match. And it was in the Finals that Once, Twice, Three Times A Paper truly earned the name Package Killer for the evening - he beat PJ Rhymeswithsausage in a quick 3 match set. There was no joy in Rhymeswithsausageville, for beardy PJ sucked pretty hard. (On the bright side, I still have $5 of free bar money left from my win at the Khyber a few weeks back.)

TUESDAY

Hope was rescued from the precipice of bad things early at Dirty Frank's, only to later be smashed mercilessly against those bad things. PJ Rhymeswithsauasge and Zombie Llama were both out in the first round- PJ fell to rookie Travial Pursuit and Zombie Llama was slain by Captain. There was some solace for our fallen, as both Zombie Llama and PJ Rhymeswithsausage beat Fighting Mongooses in Street RPS. Nobody likes that Mongooses guy.

BACONSHARK shot out of the gate with solid victories over Grim Trigger, Sac Agnole, Hulk Hoagie, and Von Daminator. BACONSHARK faced Le Tigre, el capitan of The Paper Cut Posse. It was a tough match, full of swagger and spit-polish. In the end, in the last throw in the fifth match, Le Tigre's scissors cut the paper o' BACONSHARK. It was a clean, honest victory for Le Tigre. It sure would have been nice to see BACONSHARK win though.

In other news, Fists Of Iron (also of the Paper Cut Posse) dished up some life lessons on his way to winning the night's Street RPS tourney. Majestic 12 member Loomer learned that, when it comes to Street RPS, A] there is no honor, and B] you gotta know when to hold 'em. Well done, Fists Of Iron. You've done Shou-Lao the Undying proud.